Dodger and Lorna sat perched on a tree branch, right at the forest line, watching back at the lab. The breeze wafted through Dodgers fur, blowing his whiskers back. He shut his eyes and inhaled deeply.
"God it feels good to be outside," he said.
"And what of the others?" Lorna asked, "You have no problems leaving the rabbits behind?"
"...it was a hard decision, and I didn't enjoy making it. I'm not cold hearted, Lorna, I'm just doing what I need to to survive. I feel bad for them, and I feel bad that this has to happen this way, but I would've died as well if I had stayed in there. It was either them or me. Survival of the fittest."
"Seems the ones who cling to the survival of the fittest mindset are often the ones who find themselves surviving."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dodger asked, glaring at her.
"Just a thought," she replied, "I'll be on my way now. Try not to get into too much trouble."
"Thanks for everything Lorna," Dodger said, and she cawed, flapped her wings and flew off into the woods. Dodger stayed on the branch a little while longer, thinking back to Gerry and all the time they'd spent together. All the kind things Gerry had said about him. How he'd called Dodger a hero. Hero...yeah right. Dodger didn't want to become the villain, but often times it's the villains who are willing to do anything they must to survive. After a few minutes, he headed down the tree and off into the woods himself, never to look back.
Dodger would spend the rest of the time after The Incident outside trying to find a way to survive. He'd keep a good portion of the free mice together, binding them like a family, forcing them to live as one. A community. As far as he felt, it was the only way to truly survive. But Dodger couldn't shake Gerry from his mind. Whether it was during food scouting or spending time relaxing, Dodger was constantly plagued by Gerry and their last interactions together. The last conversation they had was frequently running through his head, and after enough time, Dodger felt he had to go back and see him. He told them would only be gone a couple of days, he packed his little makeshift bag and went about his way towards the lab. Back to Gerry.
***
"What the hell are you doing here?" Gerry asked, nearly snarling.
"I just wanted to see you, see how you were holding up," Dodger said.
"Get the hell out of my lab," Gerry said.
"Your lab?" Dodger asked, chuckling.
"Yeah, my lab," Gerry said, pushing his face right up against the bars of his cage in front of Dodger, their eyes locked, "You left, this is no longer your home. Get out now! Now!"
"Gerry," Dodger said, "...it's not a home. Surely you still recognize that."
"I do," Kevin said.
"See, someone with an ounce of sense," Dodger said, "You always were smart, Kevin. It isn't a home. It's a prison. We've built a home on the outside. We've got a whole community out there, and we're thriving. You could be doing the same thing. I figured I'd come back and see if you'd at least even attempted to leave again."
"We don't need your help," Six said, "You tried to kill us. You sent us up the river, to be eaten by dogs! You got Fern killed! You're a monster!"
"I was desperate!" Dodger said, "I needed to get my friends out of there just as badly as Gerry felt he needed to get you out of here!"
"By doing what you did, you are no better than THEM," Gerry said, "You don't get to pretend to be the higher being here, Dodger, you're just as despicable as THEY are and you put others lives lower on the totem pole than you put your own. Once again, a species who feels their needs are more important, and that they are more important. You're not a mouse and calling yourself a mouse is shameful to mice. You're a rat if anything."
"And you're a rabbit," Dodger said, "You really thought there was a way to get all of you out of here? You guys aren't small, like we are, okay? You're the size of puppies. Mice are well known for escaping. But a bunch of rabbits go missing? That's weird, alright. That's gonna raise some eyebrows."
There was a short burst of silence, as everyone caught their breath and let some of the tension burn off. After a few minutes, Gerry exhaled loudly and looked back at Dodger.
"I've been trying extremely hard not to hold what you did against you, but you're making it rather difficult by showing up here," Gerry said, "I don't want to harbor anger. It just grows in you, taking over like a cancer, until it envelopes your entire essence and personality, rotting you from the inside out. That's not the kind of rabbit I want to be."
"That's very intelligent of you," Dodger said, sounding genuinely sincere.
"However, that being said, "Gerry said, "I cannot keep others from hating you. I do not forgive you for what you did, but I also do not wish to be angry at you for it. It happened, and that's all there is to it. But the remainder of the collective?...I cannot speak for them or their feelings regarding the situation."
"Understandable, and admirable," Dodger said, "But Gerry, I want you to know something...I do feel bad for what I did and-"
"Why should we believe you?" Six asked, "Literally everything you ever told us was a lie. Everything that ever came out of your mouth was just said to gain our trust and cooperation so you could secure escape for yourself. You're a liar, and you'll never be seen as anything more."
"...I suppose it's only fair you'd all feel the way you do," Dodger said, as Gerry furrowed his brow.
"Get out of my lab, Dodger," he said, "Before somebody loses their temper. I can't control anyone."
Dodger nodded, turned and started to head away. As he reached a grate, he glanced back over his shoulder at the rabbits and he sighed. He really did like Gerry, that's what made this whole betrayal even harder to go through with. He crawled into the vent and started heading back to the way he came in, when he ran into Salt in the vent.
"Dodger?" she asked, carrying a sunflower seed, nibbling on it.
"Salt, I see you're still here," he said.
"Of course I am," she said, "I'm not like you."
"What I did wasn't inherently wrong," Dodger said, "I did what anyone else would do in my position."
"No, that's just the excuse abusers use to mask their actual reasons for the things they do, to not take responsibility for what they've done. You didn't just help mice escape, you left rabbits to die, and you arranged to have them eaten. That's deplorable. You're a monster."
"You know what, you call someone a monster enough, that's what you'll turn them into," Dodger said through gritted teeth, finally starting to feel fed up with this assault on his character, despite clearly deserving it.
"If you don't want to be called one, then perhaps you should make sure your actions don't mimic that of one," Salt said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some friends to see," and she continued along her way down the vent to the rabbit lab. Dodger watched her walk away, realizing that the hole inside of him was that his friends were now hers, and that's all he wanted back.
***
"I didn't think it'd be so hard," Dodger was telling Lorna only a few months after their escape. The two were sitting on a tree branch while she ate a baby possum carcass.
"That's life in the wild, Dodger, it's not controlled like in the lab. You of all mice should've known what you were returning to," Lorna said.
"I wasn't even part of a group and yet, I still became to accustomed to living within the safe confines of the building," Dodger said, "I feel guilty for what I did to them, and to the others."
"Never feel guilty," Lorna said, choking down another tiny foot, "Guilt is what allows you to doubt yourself and make mistakes. You're either the winner or the loser. There is no inbetween. You said it yourself, you're a survivor, and you do what it takes to survive. Never feel bad about being smart enough to still be alive."
Dodger nodded, mulling it over. After their conversation, he climbed down the tree and headed back to the mice burrow. When he arrived, he found the fox still laying in the same spot she was in when he left. As he passed by her, she opened one eye and exhaled.
"You're back early," she said.
"Yeah, wasn't that long of a conversation," Dodger said softly, "You doing okay?"
"I'm tired," the fox said, sitting up and yawning, stretching her front legs, "I'm going to get something to eat."
"Can you..." Dodger said, stumbling in his words, "...can you just make sure it's not that painful?"
"Dodger," she said, "My mother did everything in her power to protect me as a cub, so I understand how you're feeling, but you wanted my protection, and you made a deal with me. Don't feel bad for protecting yourself."
"That's exactly what Lorna said," Dodger said.
"I'll make sure it's not painful," she said, before turning and headed off to a small hole in the ground she'd dug and then put branches over. As she pulled the branches off, she looked down into the hole and saw the tiny mouse faces looking back up at her, before taking her pick of which one to eat this time.
Sure, the rabbits had trusted Dodger, and he tried to have them killed but failed.
The mice had trusted Dodger and he'd sold them out for protection anyway.
***
Dodger stood outside, at the treeline, looking back at the lab as the wind softly blew through his fur. He sighed, turned and headed back to his camp, to his fox, and his crippling feelings of horror for the actions he'd performed since leaving. He didn't like being called a monster, but Salt was right. He was a monster, and that wouldn't change anytime soon.
"God it feels good to be outside," he said.
"And what of the others?" Lorna asked, "You have no problems leaving the rabbits behind?"
"...it was a hard decision, and I didn't enjoy making it. I'm not cold hearted, Lorna, I'm just doing what I need to to survive. I feel bad for them, and I feel bad that this has to happen this way, but I would've died as well if I had stayed in there. It was either them or me. Survival of the fittest."
"Seems the ones who cling to the survival of the fittest mindset are often the ones who find themselves surviving."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dodger asked, glaring at her.
"Just a thought," she replied, "I'll be on my way now. Try not to get into too much trouble."
"Thanks for everything Lorna," Dodger said, and she cawed, flapped her wings and flew off into the woods. Dodger stayed on the branch a little while longer, thinking back to Gerry and all the time they'd spent together. All the kind things Gerry had said about him. How he'd called Dodger a hero. Hero...yeah right. Dodger didn't want to become the villain, but often times it's the villains who are willing to do anything they must to survive. After a few minutes, he headed down the tree and off into the woods himself, never to look back.
Dodger would spend the rest of the time after The Incident outside trying to find a way to survive. He'd keep a good portion of the free mice together, binding them like a family, forcing them to live as one. A community. As far as he felt, it was the only way to truly survive. But Dodger couldn't shake Gerry from his mind. Whether it was during food scouting or spending time relaxing, Dodger was constantly plagued by Gerry and their last interactions together. The last conversation they had was frequently running through his head, and after enough time, Dodger felt he had to go back and see him. He told them would only be gone a couple of days, he packed his little makeshift bag and went about his way towards the lab. Back to Gerry.
***
"What the hell are you doing here?" Gerry asked, nearly snarling.
"I just wanted to see you, see how you were holding up," Dodger said.
"Get the hell out of my lab," Gerry said.
"Your lab?" Dodger asked, chuckling.
"Yeah, my lab," Gerry said, pushing his face right up against the bars of his cage in front of Dodger, their eyes locked, "You left, this is no longer your home. Get out now! Now!"
"Gerry," Dodger said, "...it's not a home. Surely you still recognize that."
"I do," Kevin said.
"See, someone with an ounce of sense," Dodger said, "You always were smart, Kevin. It isn't a home. It's a prison. We've built a home on the outside. We've got a whole community out there, and we're thriving. You could be doing the same thing. I figured I'd come back and see if you'd at least even attempted to leave again."
"We don't need your help," Six said, "You tried to kill us. You sent us up the river, to be eaten by dogs! You got Fern killed! You're a monster!"
"I was desperate!" Dodger said, "I needed to get my friends out of there just as badly as Gerry felt he needed to get you out of here!"
"By doing what you did, you are no better than THEM," Gerry said, "You don't get to pretend to be the higher being here, Dodger, you're just as despicable as THEY are and you put others lives lower on the totem pole than you put your own. Once again, a species who feels their needs are more important, and that they are more important. You're not a mouse and calling yourself a mouse is shameful to mice. You're a rat if anything."
"And you're a rabbit," Dodger said, "You really thought there was a way to get all of you out of here? You guys aren't small, like we are, okay? You're the size of puppies. Mice are well known for escaping. But a bunch of rabbits go missing? That's weird, alright. That's gonna raise some eyebrows."
There was a short burst of silence, as everyone caught their breath and let some of the tension burn off. After a few minutes, Gerry exhaled loudly and looked back at Dodger.
"I've been trying extremely hard not to hold what you did against you, but you're making it rather difficult by showing up here," Gerry said, "I don't want to harbor anger. It just grows in you, taking over like a cancer, until it envelopes your entire essence and personality, rotting you from the inside out. That's not the kind of rabbit I want to be."
"That's very intelligent of you," Dodger said, sounding genuinely sincere.
"However, that being said, "Gerry said, "I cannot keep others from hating you. I do not forgive you for what you did, but I also do not wish to be angry at you for it. It happened, and that's all there is to it. But the remainder of the collective?...I cannot speak for them or their feelings regarding the situation."
"Understandable, and admirable," Dodger said, "But Gerry, I want you to know something...I do feel bad for what I did and-"
"Why should we believe you?" Six asked, "Literally everything you ever told us was a lie. Everything that ever came out of your mouth was just said to gain our trust and cooperation so you could secure escape for yourself. You're a liar, and you'll never be seen as anything more."
"...I suppose it's only fair you'd all feel the way you do," Dodger said, as Gerry furrowed his brow.
"Get out of my lab, Dodger," he said, "Before somebody loses their temper. I can't control anyone."
Dodger nodded, turned and started to head away. As he reached a grate, he glanced back over his shoulder at the rabbits and he sighed. He really did like Gerry, that's what made this whole betrayal even harder to go through with. He crawled into the vent and started heading back to the way he came in, when he ran into Salt in the vent.
"Dodger?" she asked, carrying a sunflower seed, nibbling on it.
"Salt, I see you're still here," he said.
"Of course I am," she said, "I'm not like you."
"What I did wasn't inherently wrong," Dodger said, "I did what anyone else would do in my position."
"No, that's just the excuse abusers use to mask their actual reasons for the things they do, to not take responsibility for what they've done. You didn't just help mice escape, you left rabbits to die, and you arranged to have them eaten. That's deplorable. You're a monster."
"You know what, you call someone a monster enough, that's what you'll turn them into," Dodger said through gritted teeth, finally starting to feel fed up with this assault on his character, despite clearly deserving it.
"If you don't want to be called one, then perhaps you should make sure your actions don't mimic that of one," Salt said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some friends to see," and she continued along her way down the vent to the rabbit lab. Dodger watched her walk away, realizing that the hole inside of him was that his friends were now hers, and that's all he wanted back.
***
"I didn't think it'd be so hard," Dodger was telling Lorna only a few months after their escape. The two were sitting on a tree branch while she ate a baby possum carcass.
"That's life in the wild, Dodger, it's not controlled like in the lab. You of all mice should've known what you were returning to," Lorna said.
"I wasn't even part of a group and yet, I still became to accustomed to living within the safe confines of the building," Dodger said, "I feel guilty for what I did to them, and to the others."
"Never feel guilty," Lorna said, choking down another tiny foot, "Guilt is what allows you to doubt yourself and make mistakes. You're either the winner or the loser. There is no inbetween. You said it yourself, you're a survivor, and you do what it takes to survive. Never feel bad about being smart enough to still be alive."
Dodger nodded, mulling it over. After their conversation, he climbed down the tree and headed back to the mice burrow. When he arrived, he found the fox still laying in the same spot she was in when he left. As he passed by her, she opened one eye and exhaled.
"You're back early," she said.
"Yeah, wasn't that long of a conversation," Dodger said softly, "You doing okay?"
"I'm tired," the fox said, sitting up and yawning, stretching her front legs, "I'm going to get something to eat."
"Can you..." Dodger said, stumbling in his words, "...can you just make sure it's not that painful?"
"Dodger," she said, "My mother did everything in her power to protect me as a cub, so I understand how you're feeling, but you wanted my protection, and you made a deal with me. Don't feel bad for protecting yourself."
"That's exactly what Lorna said," Dodger said.
"I'll make sure it's not painful," she said, before turning and headed off to a small hole in the ground she'd dug and then put branches over. As she pulled the branches off, she looked down into the hole and saw the tiny mouse faces looking back up at her, before taking her pick of which one to eat this time.
Sure, the rabbits had trusted Dodger, and he tried to have them killed but failed.
The mice had trusted Dodger and he'd sold them out for protection anyway.
***
Dodger stood outside, at the treeline, looking back at the lab as the wind softly blew through his fur. He sighed, turned and headed back to his camp, to his fox, and his crippling feelings of horror for the actions he'd performed since leaving. He didn't like being called a monster, but Salt was right. He was a monster, and that wouldn't change anytime soon.